that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
