I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize