Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
