how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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