so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
