We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
