we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
