know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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