Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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