I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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