I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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