I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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