we made out on top of his cat.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
