I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
