i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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