If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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