if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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