We're like a lot better than the average bears
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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