guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
