After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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