he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
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