WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
