I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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