Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize