Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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