I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize