No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
