that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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