He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
