A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
