Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
