I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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