Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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