Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
