He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
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Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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