im gay
i know
yea but for you.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
