I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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