Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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