where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
