Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
