Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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