Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
