she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
