it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
