Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
