Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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