My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
