You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
