it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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