found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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