I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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