GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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