Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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