Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish I only lived at night.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
