so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
