yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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