i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
