from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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