Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I lost the right to judge tonight
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
