How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
