and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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