I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize